O Broker, Where Art Thou?

It truly puzzles me why brokers don’t call me back. If someone was about to give me 15% of their annual rent I’d be damned sure to return their call and ready and willing to to accept their money on a sterling silver tray.

“I’m sorry we can’t find you anything, the market is so saturated at the moment…”

sponges are saturated, the lower east side, not so much.


New York City is full of revolving doors. I am ready for someone to revolve out of their building so I can revolve in. C’mon people. It’s a buyer’s market. Go buy a place, or better yet, buy 2 and I’ll rent one from you.

–Stabilized of course, and under market value.

Today’s goal: call the brokers, their brothers, their mother-in-laws, anyone who can make sure to call me back and show me a place that's move in ready, not on the 5th floor with enough to fit my couch and bed. (granite counter tops, Viking appliances, elevator, balcony -optional of course...)

Not too bad, right?